I like to think I learn from my mistakes, but it seems it is not always the case. After that fiasco with the first guy from tinder, I figured out I could simply ask to not waste my time. It seems easy enough, RIGHT???
So, as soon as this other guy from tinder suggested having a drink some time, my instant reply was “Are you looking for just fun here or hoping to find an interesting girl to date?” The answer could not have been any more vague or abstract… “Well, let’s meet up and see where it goes from there”. Needless to say, I was not happy at all with the answer but I have never liked when people just see things black or white.
Since asking was not taking me anywhere, I decided to send him a friend request on facebook and it was a bit unsettling to see that day in, day out, he was just not accepting it…and there were enough recent pictures with a girl who was clearly not her sister or blood-related to him.
So I was not feeling all that confident when I was getting ready for this first date, but I thought maybe I was just giving it too much thought and seeing things where there was nothing really to worry about.
We met near his house, had a drink in a lovely terrace and had a nice conversation but just 30 minutes after seeing him, I already had my deal-breaker, he was a smoker. The kind of smoker who says he is just a “social” smoker and somehow he is lighting up one cigarette after another …go figure!!!
But he was quite excited about showing me the last painting he had bought for the house and I truly had to kill time before meeting my friends at the city centre so I accepted having a snack at his place. I was honestly making an effort to forget about the whole smoking thing, oblivious to the fact that a more challenging deal-breaker was about to pop up in the conversation…
After grabbing a bite, he suggested playing pool (yes, one of his toys was a pool table) and, since I am quite decent for a lady, I accepted the challenge. Then, the interesting part of the date started. I had been talking about my lovelife and he said it was time for him to explain his situation. He started with a simple “it’s complicated” and, of course, I feared for the worst.
“I have an open relationship”, he said. My mind was screaming “what?!?!?!?! And you accidentally forgot to mention that tiny detail during the weeks we were texting??? And you decide to tell me now that I am holding a pool stick?!?!?!?!” Of course, everything made sense: his vague answer, ignoring my friend request on facebook and those corny pictures he had.
I truly did not know what to say and after listening to him explaining to me the “terms and conditions” of his open relationship, he had the nerve to ask “so, what are you thinking?” I could only come up with one answer: Is that your happy ending?”
After that, I grabbed my things, left the place and ignored every single one of his messages…and there were many of them.
Lesson No. 5: Trust your instincts, most of the time…if it seems like he is hiding something, HE IS.
So, as soon as this other guy from tinder suggested having a drink some time, my instant reply was “Are you looking for just fun here or hoping to find an interesting girl to date?” The answer could not have been any more vague or abstract… “Well, let’s meet up and see where it goes from there”. Needless to say, I was not happy at all with the answer but I have never liked when people just see things black or white.
Since asking was not taking me anywhere, I decided to send him a friend request on facebook and it was a bit unsettling to see that day in, day out, he was just not accepting it…and there were enough recent pictures with a girl who was clearly not her sister or blood-related to him.
So I was not feeling all that confident when I was getting ready for this first date, but I thought maybe I was just giving it too much thought and seeing things where there was nothing really to worry about.
We met near his house, had a drink in a lovely terrace and had a nice conversation but just 30 minutes after seeing him, I already had my deal-breaker, he was a smoker. The kind of smoker who says he is just a “social” smoker and somehow he is lighting up one cigarette after another …go figure!!!
But he was quite excited about showing me the last painting he had bought for the house and I truly had to kill time before meeting my friends at the city centre so I accepted having a snack at his place. I was honestly making an effort to forget about the whole smoking thing, oblivious to the fact that a more challenging deal-breaker was about to pop up in the conversation…
After grabbing a bite, he suggested playing pool (yes, one of his toys was a pool table) and, since I am quite decent for a lady, I accepted the challenge. Then, the interesting part of the date started. I had been talking about my lovelife and he said it was time for him to explain his situation. He started with a simple “it’s complicated” and, of course, I feared for the worst.
“I have an open relationship”, he said. My mind was screaming “what?!?!?!?! And you accidentally forgot to mention that tiny detail during the weeks we were texting??? And you decide to tell me now that I am holding a pool stick?!?!?!?!” Of course, everything made sense: his vague answer, ignoring my friend request on facebook and those corny pictures he had.
I truly did not know what to say and after listening to him explaining to me the “terms and conditions” of his open relationship, he had the nerve to ask “so, what are you thinking?” I could only come up with one answer: Is that your happy ending?”
After that, I grabbed my things, left the place and ignored every single one of his messages…and there were many of them.
Lesson No. 5: Trust your instincts, most of the time…if it seems like he is hiding something, HE IS.